Powwow Shades Of Grey (CH#4)

CHAPTER FOUR: One man’s journey of love findin’, weekend snaggin’, heartbreakin’ and gettin’ heartbroken, all while enjoying the powwow trail during one crazy summer.

Storified by Ryan McMahon · Mon, Jul 09 2012 11:23:04

CH#4 If my balls could talk – they’d ask me to fight. Ive had 148 boners this powwow weekend. All for not. Damn, Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Turns out Glenda was watching Intervention due to her inability to let go of her ex – a booze hound & she was in love. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Nothing sexy abt tryin to score after watching Intervention. Time head back 2 powwow. No sex. No Glenda. No backup plan. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"We should go," I say. Go 2 bathroom. Still horny. Look in mirror. I’m in my Uncles hotel room tryin 2 get lucky. LOSER. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Still horny. But not really. Note to planet earth – Intervention isn’t good background noise for foreplay, sexy times. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
We leave. Long, quiet drive. No one on highway. Perfect for quick road side sex. BUT. Ya know, I-N-T-E-R-V-E-N-T-I-O-N. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Powwow. We say a weird goodbye. Her to her camp. I to mine. Then I remember – I burned my camp down earlier. To get ass. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
List of things to NEVER do to get a piece of ass – stab someone, borrow your Uncles room key, burn down your camp. Easy. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Back to Grans camp. Everyone asleep. Fire dying out. Should look for the ’49er but who cares. I throw a log on the fire. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Stare into fire. Cold cup of coffee in hand. Weird day. Collect my thoughts. Stare into fire. Then I hear it – tent sex. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
It’s coming from down the road. Sounds like a couple of bears wrestlin, talkin shit. Should I investigate? I should. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Through the bush I go. Smacked with branches. Trippin on rocks. It’s worth it. I think. Probably not. Damn, Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I hear it. Like two, big bears. Gruntin. Most unsexy sex I’ve ever heard. Not that I’ve heard alot of other ppls sex. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
They’re having "The Roundest Dance" in that tent. You can tell they’re chubby – they’re weezin’ & barely able to talk. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Smackin. Slappin. Pinchin. Grabbin. Rollin. Growlin. Lickin. Trippin. Suckin. Slippin. Divin. Drivin. Poundin. Roundin. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I may or may not have masterbated that nite, but lets just say, hearing some of the things I heard – I’m not to blame. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Some of the things I heard in that tent that night include, "You’re going to earn your bustle tonight, Warrior Boy?!?!" #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Shit was gettin’ real in that tent & in my pants’es. An all time low, sittin in a bush, listening to fatty’s. Oh well. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Some of the things I heard in that tent that night include, "If that’s all you got I’ll go find a Chicken Dancer, punk!" #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Some of the things I heard in that tent that night include, "I found where you’re hiding ALL the frybread. Damn girl!" #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Some of the things I heard in that tent that night include, "Ur ass is like the Prairies girl, just rollin’ & rollin!" #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Some of the things I heard in that tent that night include, "Im gonna make ur spirit helpers say thank u when Im done." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I was done long be 4 they were. Walked back to Grans camp smiling. "Earn your bustle." I liked that. I liked that alot. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Watchin’ the fire die down in camp. I need killer lines I can use. Pickup lines. Sex lines. Lines that’ll seal the deal. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I nod off. Dreams. Vivid. Weird. Dreams. I’m surround by a sea of beautiful, brown women. I try sexy-shit-talkin ’em. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"I’m a Grass Dancer – let me dance on ur grass. Unless, you’ve shaved ur grass, in which case, I’ll STILL dance on it." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Try on my bone breast plate. Take off your shirt first. I wanna see how it looks on your breasts." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"I want you to smack my ass so loud that every time you do it makes me wanna do the Duck & Dive." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"They call it Grand Entry for a reason." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Slept in my chair that night. I can’t tell you how long I was there for. I woke up. Sun beating down on me. Camp empty. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Promise of a new day! Day 2 of the powwow. Walked by the "sex camp" from last night. Quiet. I smiled. My dick moved. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Earn ur bustle, I’ll find a Chicken Dancer, I found ALL the frybread." How could I tell this story? Coudn’t. Wouldn’t. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Day 2 of the powwow was gonna be good. No worries. No cares. Just a smile. And memories. Earn your bustle. LOL. Damn. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon