CHAPTER #3 – SHE’S GOT LEGS

Powwow Shades Of Grey (CH.3)

CHAPTER THREE: One man’s journey of love findin’, weekend snaggin’, heartbreakin’ and gettin’ heartbroken, all while enjoying the powwow trail during one crazy summer.

Storified by Ryan McMahon · Fri, Jul 06 2012 12:38:33

CH.3 Dinner done. She’s doing a weird thing w/ her mouth. She’s offering a beej or she has steak stuck in her teeth. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Can I pick the steak outta your teeth w/ my tongue" I imagine myself asking. I don’t. I joke, "I’m too full for sex." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Masterbating while full sucks," Glenda says straight faced. "Lets walk dinner off," she says standing up. Damn, Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Didn’t plan to leave camp. Tent is ready to rock. Need to get back there ASAP. Need a plan. Twist an ankle? Poke an eye? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"My tent is on fire, " I yell. Sprint back 2 camp. She doesnt follow. Tent is fine. She didnt follow. Need to burn tent. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Throw log from fire at tent. Damn, Glenda. I smell fire. Smoke. Glenda asks, "What are you doing?" "Firefightin," I say. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Why’d you do that," she laughs. "No, it was…" I say. "Tsshaah," she laughs again. "Where we doin it now," she smirks. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"You one of those rez kids that burns shit 4 attention," she asks? "NO," I say, "I wanted to stay in camp." She smiles. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Be upfront. Say it, Don Eagle Smile. Be a man. Tell her. Doggy style. Upside down, hot yoga poses. Shirts on, of course. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Get courage. Look at her face not her breasts. Say it. Awkward pause. Say it. Spit it out. "Sex is so good. Am I right?" #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Ya, it can be," she says looking away. No interest. None. That’s it? Can be? I need to tell her how hard I try at it. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Guess we’ll never know, you burned your tent to the ground," she smirks. I’m an idiot. Think fast. Town. Hotel. BOOM. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"We could go to town a get a boob. Room. We could get a room," I say quickly. "I’m in, you drive." Need Gran’s car keys. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Run back to powwow like a coupla highschool kids. Find Granny. "Need your keys, we’re going to town for coffee," I say. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Coffee? That what they call it now? When I was a kid we called it "humping with our pants off," Gran smirked. So gross. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Tim Hortons," Glenda says. "A fetish," Gran quips. "Hope you like ur coffee drk brown & chubby," I joke. No one laughs. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Got keys. We walk away fast. Wow! YES! Heart races. Trying to keep up 2 her. "Oof, I gotta pee real bad," she says. Oh. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
30 min. drive. Need music. Only Gran’s tapes available. Damn. John Denver, CCR or ZZ Top to chose from. She’s got legs. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Singing. Laughing. Windows down. Hair flyin. "You’ve got legs, I hope u know how to use them," I blare loudly. Perfect. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Arrive in town. Hit the first hotel you see. It’s time. Pull into hotel. "I’ll get the room, be right back," I smile. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Full, sorry," clerk says. "Full," I blurt. "Is that even possible," I ask. "Powwow & a wedding," she says. Damn it. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
We crash wedding. Must know someone there. Gonna fake a flu. Get a room key. BOOM. The perfect plan. We’re in tshirts. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
We dance. Drink. Laugh. We see my sorta-uncle there. Our family drunk. He’ll have a room. Time to execute the plan. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Cried when we hunted," uncle laughs. Glenda laughs. I was a kid. "So sweet," she says. "A sad little warrior," he says. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Need ur room key," I say. "Oh," he says. "Ya, bad lunch," I lie. "Gonna hump with ur pants off, huh," he teases. Damn. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Kiddin," he laughs. "Powwow food’ll kill ya." Hands me the key. Glenda & I look at each other. Whoa. "Thanks," I say. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Elevator doors close. 1st kiss. Tilt my head left or right? We’ve got two big NDN noses? Damn noses. So much nose here. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Doors open. 3rd floor. Horrible kiss. So much damn noses. Seriously. Big NDN noses are horrible for kissing. Thanks God. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Room 308. "Gonna freshen up," Glenda smiles. "Okay," I say shyly. How does this work? Pants on or off? Bed? Stand up? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I decide to go underwear off, pants on, shirt on, condom under pillow. She goes pants on, shirt on, bra on. Game on. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Curve ball. She turns on the tv. "Damn, my shows on," she squeals. "Oh, ya," I ask? She sits on the bed. I stand there. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
9PM on a Saturday. Season finale of Intervention on. Hotel room. Glenda. Me. No sex. This why they say marriage sucks? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Condom under the pillow," I wink. "Right on," she says. "A ribbed one," I smile. "Does it taste like ribs," she asks. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Dying here. Junky on the tv ruining everything. Hate that show. "He should just die," I smirk. "You asshole," she yells. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"He’s a person," she says. "So am I," I defend. "I thought u were different," she says. "I am, so…different," I try. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon