Powwow Shades Of Grey (CH.2)

CHAPTER TWO: One man’s journey of love findin’, weekend snaggin’, heartbreakin’ and gettin’ heartbroken, all while enjoying the powwow trail during one crazy summer.

Storified by Ryan McMahon · Thu, Jul 05 2012 18:46:03

CH. 2 – Next day. Alone in the tent. Found out her name was Glenda Old Crow. Bad name, good ass. Need food. And Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Two flies humping inside my tent. I contemplate masterbating. Weird. Maybe pancakes & bacon replace morning sex. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Grab phone. Facebook. Search. Glenda Old Crow. There are 4 of them. Search pictures. 100’s of pics of kids. No Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Friend ’em all. If I find MY Glenda, then good. If not, maybe one of the other 3 will dig me. Gah. Desperate, but horny. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Morning piss, then food. Get to the porta-potty’s. I hear sex. Really gross porta potty sex. The grossest sex. Christ. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Gotta find my cousin. He owes me $20. Go to his camp. Still sleeping. Look around camp. What is that – a Haskell jacket? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
How did this happen? He could he? Glenda. I’m destroyed. Damn it. First thought – revenge. Glenda MUST have a sister. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
In shock. I wrote a round-ee for her. "Oh, oh Glenda, I wanna bend ya, Oh, oh Glenda, lets play pretend’ah, hey eh, oh." #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I go to the water to offer tobacco. I see her. At the beach. Yellin’ at her kids. Glenda? That you? "Hey, ever," I yell. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Run 2 cousins camp. Grab Haskell jacket. Run to beach. "Lost your jacket," I say. "Nah, I didnt," she says. "Oh," I say. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"Left it at my cousins," she tells. Heart sinks. Boner gone. "Cousins," I ask? She’s his cousin & he’s my…FUCKKKKKKK. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Hand her jacket. All goes black. Cant breath. Back to camp. God damn Indian Country. Why??? Horny old ancestors. NO!?!? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
In camp. My granny notices I’m down. "Hey sad boy, get your shit together for Grand Entry." Tough love from Kookum. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Grandy Entry. I’m there but not. Lost in thought. Her chair set up across from us. Her frybread thighs winkin’ at me. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I may or may not have just registered #PowwowShadesOfGrey dot com to keep the storify links on. God damn it, another project. LOL.Ryan McMahon
Blisterin hot. Glenda wipes her forehead. Adjusts her snuggy. I picture her thong on her sweaty ass. Kinda gross. Kinda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Flag song over. Prayer over. Everyone can sit down. I watch her sit. Close my eyes. Pretend my face is her lawnchair. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Open my eyes. I’m the only one standing. Lost in my imagination. GLENDA – I AM YOUR LAWNCHAIR, YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Did I THINK or SAY "Glenda I am your lawnchair & you just don’t know it." Granny stares. "Glenda, huh?" Shit. Busted. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"No way," I defend. "Pfft," Granny says, blowin her cig smoke in my face. "We’re cousins," I say. "Not even," Gran says. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
"You’re not cousins blood way, ceremony way, sure, but not blood way," Gran says. Damn. Ceremony way. Shit. Boner BACK. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
My stare intensifies. She’s wearing an Angry Birds tshirt but it’s cool cuz she’s a mom and I shop at Wal Mart too. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Need to talk to her. I need pickup lines. "Nice moccassins, wanna fuck," prolly won’t work. "Nice hair," is pretty lame. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
She’s in line at a taco stand. I am too. "Been waitin to put a Indian Taco in my mouth all day," I blurt. No one laughs. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
She gets a taco. I, a hotdog. She returns to her seat. I return to mine, eating that hotdog suggestively. It got weird. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Gran says, “stop being slutty with it & just eat it.” “I’m sendin a msg to Glenda,” I retort. “Wrong msg,” Gran says. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Wanna yell, “I hate dicks,” but it’s outta context 4 everyone else. Can’t yell, “I love vagina,” either. Damn, Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I walk to her chair, “I’m buying dinner tonight.” “For who,” she says. “Us,” I say. “Havin another hotdog,” she laughs. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
“I hate dicks,” I say too loudly. “Great,” she says. “I thought you should know that, just, cuz…” “Right,” she says. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
“My camp, 5.30 tonight,” I say. “Word,” she smiles. I walk away. I need to get ready. TENT SEX on the menu tonight! #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Back to camp. Make bed. Cut firewood. Prep potatoes. Slice onions. Marinate steaks. Last thing – trim pubes. Lake time. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
All I have is a hunting knife and a fork. Hands shaking. Gotta do this. No one is into “1970’s Big Porn Bush,” right? #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I say out loud, “If there is a good you’ll help me trim these pubes with this hunting knife.” Hand stops shaking. Whoa. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
Pubes trimmed. Back to camp. I blow up my air mattress again. Need a fresh shirt. AC/DC or ribbon shirt? Damn,Glenda. #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon
I She’ll be here in 10 mins. Our junk will be touching in 20 mins. I ask my spirit helpers for help. It’s goin down! #PowwowShadesOfGreyRyan McMahon

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